Are you Listening?

“We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak”

Epictetus

Are you listening?

Did you hear what I said?

Listening is such an important skill that I would argue is the most undervalued tool in your kit. The other thing is that most of us can improve and develop the way we listen.

Every conversation that you have there is psychology at play and if you aren’t careful and don’t know how to listen then you will miss what the other person is really trying to tell you. How many times have you been in a conversation and just waited for the person to finish so you can jump in. In this moment, are you listening or just waiting for a gap? I think this has got worse since the world descended into Zoom/Teams for meetings.

How to be a better listener?

Practice ‘Active listening’

🕺1. Body language – try to read the unspoken conversation by observing body language of the speaker. It will help round out what is being said. This is another reason why in person is better if possible.

⏸️ 2. Pause – take a beat. You don’t always have to respond straight away. Particularly when it is something consequential, take a breath which will give you a moment to collect thoughts before replying.

❔3. Clarify – a great way to stay in the moment is to go back to the person talking and clarify you are getting the message they want you to take away. When you clarify, it opens the conversation up if you have the wrong end of the stick.

🗣️ 4. Summarise – when you know the person speaking has finished, just try and make a summary of what they have said.

From a psychological perspective, active listening helps with memory and retaining information and avoiding conflict.

Listening seems easy but its actually really tough. It’s a skill that needs honing and developing. The way to do this is marginally. Get slightly better every day. Make it a habit.

What did I just say?